Walking down the street I look like any other 27 year old girl....I smile as people walk by me, even greet them with a friendly hello. I go to the mall with my friends, shopping the racks- looking for the best next thing for my wardrobe.I kick back with my best friends on the sofa to watch TV or a movie. I am educated, with a Masters in Occupational Therapy from the UNH. I worked in a dream pediatric OT job in NH, doing outpatient pediatrics; co-running a vastly needed feeding team to treat kids with a wide array of feeding difficulties and working in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I rock in the warm and cold, smoking a cigarette with one of my best friends laughing until I snort (yes I snort...). I dance to Pink in the car, and belt out my terrible voice during Adele. I adore my four and half year old nephew and love to play with him. I like crafts, ok maybe all my crafts from knitting, scrap booking, painting, doing puzzles, and so forth are the "coolest", but I'm the crafty 27 year- get into this newest trend! I face book post and own an I-phone where I love Words With Friends and Scramble, yet fully embrace I don't have a strong vocabulary bank. I play cribbage with my dad and you could say I'm a bit competitive. I can spend hours watching TV with my mom and just enjoy our time together. I love to run and ran a 1/2 marathon not to long ago. The game of tennis and the color purple is my favorite. I'm organized, actually a perfectionist. I love to read and I love to write.... well it has to be a good topic :) People characterise me as sarcastic and funny but compassionate, loving and kind hearted as well- this is what I'm told and graciously am thankful always for these adjectives. You give me a task at hand, by golly I will get it done. You tell me I can't do something, I will shown you. I guess this means I'm driven, I was raised with always "give your 110%" and "be a leader not a follower". I have the best of friends and am so lucky, and when I mean lucky I EMPHASIZE lucky. I am blessed with an amazing family, parents that are still married over 26 years and love each other every day. I can roll out of bed and be ready, just give me 15 minutes- I'm blessed with hair that I don't even need to brush. I have the cutest 5 month old puppy, whose favorite toy is the end of a vacuum brush- who needs expensive stuff?! I rarely get pimples... I'm probably going to jinx myself writing this. I can walk, talk, smile, breathe, run. I'm thankful for all my blessings and more.
What the world doesn't know is this "put together" , "perfect" , "happy go lucky" girl hides a lot. It wasn't until the last year that I portrayed anything but above.
This is the blog of the girl that thought she had everything, but realized she has lost a lot.
This is the blog of a girl that lived until recently not knowing very much about her childhood and now realizes there was a reason.
This is the blog of a girl that may outwardly appear healthy and happy, but is dying and fighting inside.
This is the blog of a girl that despite everything is DETERMINED to live and better the lives of others; with more dreams than a roomful of people.
But this isn't just a blog of a girl.
It's a blog of us.
It's a blog of everyone that makes that girl....Becka.
Welcome, I am not as put together, perfect and happy as you may have known, knew, seen or see.
I have had and am struggling with a eating disorder for over 17 years. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder (in the past this was called Multiple Personality Disorder).
This is my story, our story. Our daily struggles, ah-ha Oprah moments, amazing moments, laughs, pathetic jokes, education to the world, steps towards our dreams, aims to help others...
This is more than just a blog, story or narrative at times. This is our voice. This is my voice. The voice that I'm finding, along with myself each day.
Smiles,
Becka
